Pea Pod - A taste of everyday life

Sometimes, I feel so useless. I ask myself a question. Why am I doing things that I am doing, that which I've never done? Why do I feel like breaking out of this shell of mine? Why do I feel these worldly interactions is the shell? Why do I have to interact with these entities? What is the karmic connection here? Why am I going through a certain experience and what am I going to learn from it? Why can't I show some people their mirrors and tell them what a distorted reflection they make? Why do I control my feelings when a volcano is ready to erupt within me? It's because sometimes you have to give in to this unknown power that is operating from I don't know where. Up, is it? Or is it just within all of us? Or is it that someone called God wants you to think of Him sometimes? Sometimes...I just don't have any answers. And no end to questions.

He must have turned away from his 'black' self He must have turned away from his marriages He must have turned away from normal human behaviour He must have turned away from limelight But there is one thing he could never turn away from Music. We've been together for such a long time now Music, music and me Don't care whether all our songs rhyme Now music, music and me Only know wherever I go We're as close as two friends can be There have been others But never two lovers Like music, music and me Grab a song and come along You can sing your melody In your mind you will find A world of sweet harmony Birds of a feather will fly together Now music, music and me Music and me

Yeah! I feel like a Supermom! Wish I had that cape. The only thing left for me to do is fly! To me, being a mom means : Waking up early Preparing baby's breakfast Soaking an almond for the baby Making the bitter medicine paste for the baby Changing the diaper as soon as he wakes up Brushing his teeth Preparing for our breakfast Feeding the baby breakfast- that takes pretty long, mind you! Taking him down to say 'ta-ta' to Papa Strolling in the garden and showing the baby butterflies, grass, clouds, cat and everything that is there to see! Coming back home and having my breakfast with the baby tugging at me all the time. It's difficult to eat that way! Potty time! Cleaning baby's potty Massaging him with baby oil Bathing him and letting him play for long in the tub with splashes of water thrown at me! Making him sleep after his bath Bathing, cooking for the baby, lunch and my design work is done ONLY when he's sleeping! Woof! Feeding the baby lunch when he wakes ...

Life is simple. We tend to complicate it, always. Material wants are growing by the day. 'I want this' and ' Buy me that'. Children are exposed to so many things today, it's difficult to curb their desires. But is wasn't like that when I was a kid. One drawing book would keep me engaged for a whole month. Or a fountain pen would be 'the thing' to buy! Who uses fountain pens now? Kids use 'gel' pens! The charm of smoothening the nibs on a lime stone and that of filling ink in them is gone altogether. I play this CD of Walt Disney songs for my baby. One song from there made me think about how the simple joys of life have dissappeared. And how those very simple things can make you happy. Daisy, Daisy Give me an answer, do I'm half crazy All for the love of you It won't be a stylish marriage I can't afford a carraige But you'll look sweet Upon the seat Of my bicycle built for two.

I'd watched Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na some 6 months back. Since then, it's title track sung by AR Rahman has been haunting me. I hummed only a line or two, but those lines were enough to coax me into buying the CD recently. I've been listening to it almost daily and somehow, whenever I do, something about the song reminds me of Sting. It's been almost 2 years since I heard any of the Sting numbers. In spite of he being one of my favourites. I stopped listening to Sting for the mere fact that I didn't want to get tired of him. Familiarity breeds contempt! Now after all this time, I owe it to Rahman for making me want to listen to him again.The beautifully composed jazz number of Jaane Tu, reminded me of 'The Moon Over Bourbon Street', 'An Englishman In New York' and 'Mad About You', all songs having a very jazzy feel to them. Tonight I heard all of my Sting favourites and I'm feeling all jazzed up!

There are places I'll remember All my life Though some have changed Some forever, not for better Some have gone and some remain Saket, My home in Vile Parle. The bungalow still stands but gone are the 'Otlaa's - where we sat and passed many idle moments in our childhood. Gone is the 'Paachad no compound' - where we collected 'lucky stones' for a game of Hop-skotch. Gone are those artistic metal gates on which we stood and kicked them to open and shut. Gone is that corner where I spent making mud cakes. Namiella, the neighbourhood building. That too stands till now...looking ill-maintained and old. The pre-school in it's compound still exists. That's where we all studied. We called it the 'Alvares' school - after Mrs. Alvares, the principal and the owner. Nagrecha Nivas, another building in the neighbourhood. A joint family seperated and living on different floors. With fights galore. Abuses, insults and some very entertaining and...

I've read a lot about how one should think of God as a Mother. Paramhansa Yogananda has spoken many times about this but it was difficult for me to take God as a parent - untill I became a mother. He said one should leave everything to God. Submit yourself and depend solely on Him. He knows what's good and bad for you. I feel only a mother can truly understand this concept and I am glad I was not born a man. When my baby finds comfort in my arms, I feel I should find this comfort in God. When my baby depends on me completely - for changing his wet nappies to making him go to sleep, I feel I should depend completely on God for my daily requirements. When I intuitively come to know there's something wrong with my baby, I feel God too must surely know when I'm in trouble and help me. When I give a bitter medicine to my baby in time of sickness, I feel God too must be giving me difficulties so that I can come out being a stronger person. When I wipe the tears from my baby...

My brother's song is out! It's so exciting! He's done two tracks for Apoorva Lakhia's Mission Istanbul. The title track that's been telecast on all the channels is his and it's already #2 on the Radio Mirchi countdown. The other song is being shot at Film City as I write this blog. It's called Nobody Like You . It's an item number that features Abhishek Bachchan and a model. I think that song rocks! I just love it! I title this blog 'Mission Possible' because my brother has made all this possible on his own. No help from any 'filmi' connections that relatives keep inquiring about. I am proud of you, brother! Papa is looking after you from up there.

Some men at my workplace think being a mother is easy. Well, what can I say? Have they dealt with a colicky baby and sat up all night trying to make him go to sleep? Have they left their food, stayed hungry so that they can give attention to the wailing baby? Can they do this for a week continuously? I wonder if they did all of this or their wives! I don't know why these opinions are never voiced out directly to me! I'd appreciate if they did that. Anyway, I can't be a JLo or a Farah Khan. That's for sure. And my baby will thank me for that.

:-) I am a mother to little 'A' now! No time to blog. Little one keeps me busy all day...and night ;-)

I was offered a job at Lintas as a junior visualiser when in college. The studio manager soon became a friend. Being a Christian, he was obviously into a lot of western music. The radio would be playing all day in his studio and my colleague and I spent much time there. I would often hum or sing along with the radio. The manager was quite surprised by my knowledge of all kind of music, be it rock, pop or the oldies. The studio artists were amused too as I was not only singing English numbers but also most of the Hindi ones playing on the radio - whether from 1950s or 1990s. Soon there were discussions on music taking place and I would be called from my personal cubicle to the studio if there were any nice numbers being played. I also learnt many facts about singers, genres etc. from the studio manager. Somehow, I always keep my ears open to learn whatever I can about music. In the next job that I took up at an interactive agency, there was this senior of mine who was a musician himself...

*Devnagri script begins - ॐ भूर भुवः स्वः ॐ तत् सवितूर वरेनियम भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि धियो यों - नः प्रचोदयात् ॐ *Devnagri script ends - Aum Bhoor Bhuvaha Svaha Aum Tat Savitoor Vareniyam Bhargo Devasya Dhimahi Dhiyo Yon-naha Prachodayaat Aum I remember my mother teaching us when we were children, this divine Mantra called Gayatri. She asked us to chant it everyday before bedtime and whenever we were scared of the dark. Since then I have been chanting the Gayatri Mantra - never knowing the exact meaning of this verse. Do it because Mom has said it's the most powerful prayer of the Universe. As I grew up, I came to believe that Gayatri was the goddess that was there in my mother's pooja mandir. It's a beautiful image with the goddess sitting on a white swan and the Gayatri Mantra printed below. But somehow, since childhood, I never could have that emotional feeling while praying to the idols. I got that feeling only when my mother or father told me stories...

Yes. Today I'm stressed because I got angry. It's very rare to see me losing my temper this way. And now I'm feeling so, so bad for being angry that I'm angry at myself. This cook has a knack of making me feel like this. He's been putting so much salt in the food everyday. I've been patiently telling him since months now to control his burning desire to put extra salt in the food. But nothing changes. He has to be suffering from low blood pressure and is adamant to give us a soaring high blood pressure! Today it was the limit. When I asked him if he had put less salt, he laughed saying he didn't know. What did he mean by that? Are we paying him to make us sick? My mercury rose and how! I screamed with all the bass and treble god has gifted me with. And this fellow has the audacity to tell me that he will make food the way he wants. And I shouted in a 'speaker burst' loud tone and shook the hell out of him. But I wonder if it would make any difference...

I knew of you since you were a child. I came to know you just some years back. And day before yesterday I came to know that you are no more in this world. You died in your sleep. Farewell, Gaurav. I pray that your soul is in peace and that you are born to parents who love you and understand you. I pray that you make something of your new life and not waste it away like this one. Hope you can rise from the dust and make towers for yourself by sheer perseverance and hard work. You were so handsome to look at. Tall, fair and extremely intelligent. Why you couldn't come out of your rich comforts, is what I fail to understand. I wish you had persued higher studies, used the money to go abroad and learn music. You even dreamed of becoming an actor but never worked hard to get work. You were too affluent to go and 'ask' for anything. You chose not to struggle for anything. You gave up too easily. Life presents you with many opportunities to make use of. If it didn't gift you w...

I guess all of us have struggled zealously for something or the other in life. I have seen people struggle in my own family. Some struggle for success, some for a name, some for love, some for progeny, some for happiness, some for companionship, some just to keep alive. One struggle. Many reasons. The outcome always bright and encouraging - if one doesn't give up. As one story told by Paramhansa Yogananda goes - Two frogs fall into a big milk container. Both keep struggling, shaking their hands and legs without stopping, trying to get out. One of them gets tired and gives up. He drowns. The other one continues only to find the milk curdled into butter much later and jumps out. What an encouraging story this is! I'd like to quote a line from The Little Prince yet again. I just can't get over this simple little book. Whenever I pick it up I read something so wonderful in it. There is a small rose in the book who is lonely where it lives and struggling to keep itself alive for...

Yes, I've been wanting to write this for quite some time. About 'Taare Zameen Par' or TZP as it's popularly called. My husband is extremely fond of movies. Especially good cinema. We experienced Aamir Khan's directorial debut in its very first week. All I can say is - What a film! My father often told me that Aamir had everything in him to become a director. Meticulous, good scripting sense and sensitivity. He had said this back in 1991! What a prediction! Amole Gupte and Aamir Khan have given Hindi Cinema one of its best movies of all time, I would say. Yes, I have cried in many a movie. But I've sobbed only in a few. Franco Zeffirelli's 'Jesus of Nazareth', an Italian Oscar winner - 'Cinema Paradiso' , an old classic, 'Goodbye Mr. Chips' and TZP. My husband kept looking at me as I was shedding continuous tears. I felt like crying my heart out in the lobby. But somehow, I controlled myself. I loved the way the whole 'art' bit...

Not anymore I will not let you turn a deaf ear to me I ask my father as a child And will not beg Not anymore You have to Give me what I ask of you I do not deserve all this Grant me what I pray for You have to I will Be ever devoted to you Thinking of you everyday I have decided to seek your blessings And I will.

Remember how freely I would flutter around here? Remember how I felt this whole world was ours? Remember how I felt that I too was a part of your being? But nothing is mine anymore. Nothing but the memories. Every meeting brings upon me a realisation That nothing belongs to me I have gone away...forever To a world that's my own.

It's Sunday today and I am feeling so very sleepy at this time of day. I am at my mom's place since a week and keep hogging like a pig! That's not all. Yesterday was a holiday too and my maasi and I slept for 2 hours in the afternoon! Blame the weather! It's so nice and cool here right now. My inlaws said it was pretty chilly their side too. My father-in-law's so cute! He can't take the cold weather and will cover himself with all the possible warm clothes there are. A monkey cap, muffler, sweater, jacket, gloves and socks! My mom-in-law teases him that he is in the Himalayas! But I'm much like him too. Just can't take the cold! I tend to sleep with a comforter all year round, except the summers! Well, that reminds me. I woke up at 9 in the morning today, had a small nap after breakfast and planning to take a wee little one after posting this! Happy sleepy sunday!

Listen. Always listen to your inner voice. There must have been times in your life when you have to make some important decision. When you listen to your inner voice, it's never so difficult. And never doubt what you listen. The effects are always known much later. Have patience. There are plenty of cases I can mention here. You have a great job coming your way which offers double of your present salary but your inner voice tells you - 'Don't get tempted. Stay where you are'. You stay put and it's only after 6 months that you realise that the place you were contemplating to join has closed down. This is how it works! A girl was being pursued by a boy in her office for almost two years but the girl's inner voice told her that this boy wasn't for her. She never responded to him. 3 years passed by and her inner voice said - 'Well, I say no, but if you still want to test me, go ahead, but I will win in the end'. She contacted the boy after a long period ...